one time I was really high and took a hot bath and I closed my eyes and imagined myself as a noodle floating in hot soup
THEYRE LIKE CHICKEN NUGGETS BUT FROGS????????????????????????
i’m pretty sure they’re just pregnant but ye
NO THEY AREN’T EVEN PREGNANT THEY’RE DESERT RAIN FROGS AND THEY SOUND LIKE THIS
Me in class
So I was at a thrift store and I see this little cat lamp.
I was like “Aye yo, no homo, but ya’ll are fuckin’ adorable.”
So I bought the lil’ guy and took him home to plug him in.
Then I was like “No.”
if you’re about to die, might as well try.
he puts his hands up like he’s pleading and catches the guy completely off guard. i mean. he’s got a gun. guy’s on his knees. he feels totally safe and in control of the situation. then the guys hands are right next to the gun and he surprises him and immediately tilts the weapon up and away from him and yanks the arm down while thrusting his legs forward to kneecap the guy and manages to wrench the gun away
so shit now the second guy is on the ground with probably a broken knee and no gun and the first guy has the weapon and is fucking free and clear remember this me you need to remember this
Jesus Christ what just happened.
look at different people each time tho
sHE THREW A BABY
my mom put my brother’s real birthday present inside this box and he thought this was it for a good two minutes